Dance, monkey! Dance!

I have this pet peeve that has followed me for some time. For as long as I can remember, I have been expected to perform on command for my friends and family. Whether it be singing, comedy, or impressions, it only takes one person who hasn't seen it and I have to do it for everyone in the room. It's flattering, don't get me wrong. It means they are entertained by me and that they think I'm talented. And if you have ever asked me to perform, please don't let this post make you feel bad. It's really fine. It's just that sometimes you just want to be with your loved ones and talk, and sometimes it just doesn't feel like the right setting to put on a show. Sometimes I feel a bit like this poor monkey...

I mean look at this monkey's face! Is he happy? No, he's not a happy monkey. Go ahead, look into his eyes for a few seconds. You know what that look is? Madness. Yep. He's gone insane because all anyone wants to do is wind him up and watch him dance around. Poor sap.

During my mission in Spain, I had a companion named Brad Kesler. Elder Kesler watched people wind me up over and over again....

"Do your President Monson impression, Johnson!"

"Sing like Michael Jackson!"

"Dance, monkey! Dance!"

Kesler used to step between me and the mob of missionaries starved for entertainment and yell, "Hey! If he wants to do it, he'll do it. He's not your monkey you can just snap your fingers at and have a show." Disappointment inevitably followed. They looked at me as if I had robbed them of something. Laughs and smiles they knew I could facilitate, and yet I was withholding them.

But why did it bother me so much to be asked to perform when I so often perform by choice? Something about being requested to perform soured the whole experience for me. Then I found some old home videos. Not the kind you've watched over and over growing up and the family has all of the funny parts memorized. These tapes were from my grandma's old camera. Unseen footage of my childhood before my family owned a camera. I watched a young, innocent, and quite honesty very cute Shaun Johnson, playing with his toys and enjoying his life. And that's when the voices from behind the camera started winding Little Shaun up.

"Hey Shaun, come over to the camera and sing that song you were singing earlier!"

"Shauny! Say that funny thing you said earlier so grandma and grandpa can hear it!"

Dance....you innocent, defenseless little monkey...............dance.......

Little Shaun looked up from his play time. He looked past the camera toward the demanding voices. Sad frustration covered his face as he reluctantly obeyed. Sighing heavily in defeat, he stood up from his toys, walked over to the camera, and began to perform.

Suddenly, this deep resistance I had to performing all became clear. I turned to my parents and said, "This is it! This is why I have a thing about people demanding that I perform!" I was satisfied to have solved the mystery of this behavior developed from such a young age.

But what was this? We kept watching. I was performing. Little Shaun was performing....but he was loving it. All eyes were on him. They were laughing and cheering. If the camera moved away from him, he quickly moved back into frame. Now people were done watching him, having satisfied their need for entertainment. But he wanted more! He was just as attention hungry as the family was demanding!

I was forced to accept that, although I had grown to resist performing for people on command, performing was one of the things I loved doing most. Little Shaun understood that. And now, so do I...

...seriously though, if you ask me to perform I'll probably be bugged. :)